Wistful Wednesday

[image source: Liputan6 ] A story ~ Terlukis Indah [terlukis indah means "beautifully painted"] "I'm pretty sure many people have asked you out." "What? Really? I'm not girlfriend material though." "What do you mean?" "Well you know, I'm just...socially awkward." "Yeah but, it's a quirk though. You're quirky." "Um, it's a quirk yeah--until it isn't."  Sometimes, I'd always look at other girls and I'd wonder what it would be like to look so stunning. Kpop idols are compared to flawless anime characters, Hollywood celebrities transform into international sex icons, and I look like just one of millions of Asian girls with glasses. To me, it's always appeared like being physically hot gave someone so much privilege (followers, complements, status) to the point that it was like the pre-requisite for attractiveness. Though, what my friend told me, plus some other things I learned I g...

[image source: Haisuinonasa (Youtube) ] A story ~ A city of warmth Gasoline girl, You always walk so fast. Where are you off to, walking away like that? "I'm going to build a car." Gasoline girl, You never take a breath. Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself? "It's time to get out." Gasoline girl, You smile at me like that. What are you dreaming of in the middle of class? "Paradise." Gasoline girl, You left no trace at school. What is a student doing, wandering outside alone? "Growing up." Gasoline girl, Your dad told me you weren't home. Why not eat a meal under a roof with some warm clothes? "A shelter isn't a home." Gasoline girl, You know, my family isn't the best too. Do you remember when my mom hit me just cause she wanted to? "I do." Gasoline girl, You called back after 3 days. What happened to our friendship? Did I do something forbidden? "Sorry, I was in a meeting." Gasoline gi...

The majority of these past few days has been pretty bleak and exhausting.  For reference, yesterday I stayed up to hand in a school assignment at 12am. N ot only did I hand it in late (by a few minutes), but I didn't even finish it. By the end of it all, I remember instantly collapsing onto my desk like a dead weight. Usually, handing in something late would ruin me. It would feel like I was a piece of toast being ripped apart from the centre outwards. But honestly, I have been through much worse shit just a day before that, so, I didn't feel this way. I'm so used to revolving my entire life around work or school, sometimes even intertwining my life purpose with it, only to find out that I forced myself to care about it more than I really did. What I really care about are the moments I have when I'm writing this blog; those sparks of imagination and inspiration that I gain from my actual experiences. I thought that this semester I would be able to survive prioritizing m...