☽ In The End (Instrumental)
A story ~ In the end...
{Broken Pieces | part 2}
"You don't really know when a moment will be special until it happens. That's the tricky part."
Gradually, often ungracefully, I've been healing.
I'd be lying if the memories that happened weren't painful to look upon. I still find moments here and there where I would cry because of them, but now I realize that such pain is temporary.
Children, of any species, are really some of the most vulnerable creatures. We humans like to look back and think about 'childhood' as something sacredly innocent. However, because life is unpredictable and natural selection is crude, children become some of the most damaged citizens you'll ever meet. Thus, saying "the grass is greener on the other side" to a child might hold a heavier connotation for the child than they realize.
As I've grown up though, I realized that some people aren't able to start over on new grass. Often they have to take what they can get. If anything, the grass is greener where you water it. Not saying that the grass won’t ever get greener though.
Human children are quite interesting because, in the midst of the suffering that is happening around them, we presume that they do not have the cognitive ability to understand that it is indeed suffering. Children are said not only to be naive and hopeful but incompetent. Though, one can argue children are only incompetent because adults hide such suffering from them.
But, what if the child is experiencing suffering that the adults cannot gate-keep them from?
If given the right information and steps on how to process it, children can understand quite a lot from a young age if adults take the time to explain it. So, in my opinion, adult suffering could be understood by children, hypothetically.
Financial problems are an example of suffering that children are often exposed to from a very young age, and often can't be hidden by adults. When parents fight over mortgage/rent payments, insurance, medical costs, school tuition, taxes, (and the list goes on and on) there's a crack in their composure that might be thin but runs deep. Money is the only way that they would be able to keep enough stability to run a family and if they didn't have that, how is it possible to provide everyone's basic needs? It's not uncommon that children get scolded by a parent who is overridden with stress, projects it on their child, and doesn't have the time to explain afterwards that it's not completely the child's fault for such a lashing. After a while of hearing the words "money", "taxes", "bills" and whatnot circulate in their house, children succumb to the realization that it is these words that are the cause of such prolonged suffering.
Now, I'd like to disclaim that even if my family has experienced financial stress before, there were always families who have experienced more than us, so I don't have tons of experience with feeling financial stress as a child.
The suffering that I felt was much more about social isolation and self-concept, which is much more abstract and harder to explain. I will say that as a child, I could recognize fear and profound loneliness at a very young age.
In fact, material or not, suffering is inevitable as soon as we are born. All of us as children were born from suffering if you think in analogies like I do. Whoever gave birth to you, and whoever raised you didn't do it very gracefully, let me give you that.
So...here we are again, back after suffering's inevitability. But even as suffering is such, that doesn't mean it always lasts forever. Only after this chapter of your life will you then encounter different challenges, a different period of suffering, and a subsequent rebirth from these battles. Actually, Buddhist doctrine dictates that suffering occurs cyclically with reincarnation, referred to as "saṃsāra".
Now personally, I prefer to assume suffering's cycle within the context of one life born from one birth, so, for the purposes of whatever I talk about next, let's assume that yes, often suffering comes to an end, and when it does a more 'mental' reincarnation begins.
You start to gain more wisdom in your experiences, you start to look outside of yourself for advice, you start to bond with others, you start to accept more of this reality, and you start to re-learn stuff about yourself; hence, the narrative takes its first shifts from the climax to the denouement.
Put more simply, pain that comes again doesn't last forever, and happiness that leaves again will always return. Yeah, sometimes, it takes till one's physical death for their suffering to end, though I still hold by this statement.
Call it what we may, a blank canvas, a cycle of suffering, a chance at love, a mysterious entity, a miracle, etc. We can all agree that living is pretty strange. Human life, in particular, can contain a lot of pain, it can come with a lot of lessons, it can have neither and it can be both.
But, the fact that there is an end to everything is interesting, because the inevitability of a common end for any human pushes each of us to make an attempt to live.
»»————- εïз ————-««
While listening to this song:
You could look at.....a plant's slow but steady growth after a week or two weeks
You could be with.....well, of course, someone you love~ >< (never gets old amirite?)
You could do something.....that helps you breathe new, fresh air. Honestly, take a walk outside, it'll help.
You could eat or drink.....warm cinnamon rolls with some tea :)
You could remember that.....yes, this too, shall come to an end.
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