☽ La Rose de Versailles
My dad, he usually doesn't cry a lot and when he has cried, I was never there to see it in person.
All of my male friends, I have never seen them cry before and when they do cry, they never show other friends in our group.
I think, if there's a slight social privilege that I've been given as a female, it's the ability to cry and to not be shut down while I'm doing it. When I cry in front of my friends or my family, of varying genders, I would get shouted at sometimes, but not every single time. Sometimes, I would even be called weak, but I know that men get scolded much more than I do for this.
For instance, yesterday, as a person who's never watched Demon Slayer (or anime), I watched the movie (Mugen Train). In the end, the main protagonist breaks down because of the death of a big character in the series. I'm not going to lie, I felt apprehension in myself when I was seeing a guy cry for so long. Legit, he cries for a solid 10+ minutes, rather than the usual "one-cheek-tear for one minute" scenario. But I'm glad it happened because it felt cathartic.
What was so interesting too was that there was a moment of tough-guy hypocrisy as this occurred. While this dude was crying, their male, pig-headed friend (with a legit pig head) tells their friend that crying wasn't worth it. But, he's telling this to his friend while he is crying himself.
[*Disclaimer:] I actually forgot why the pig-headed dude said crying wasn't worth it, but yeah he said something like that I'm sure.
Anyway, my point is, I wish I could see males cry more in real life, and on-screen. I personally would like to see males in a tear-jerker position more often so that the next time I see a scene like the one in Demon Slayer, I won't feel so weirded out by it. I will feel that it's actually, completely normal.
Though, cases like Demon Slayer border the line of being the exception. I rarely see men cry for long periods of time. Even in many instances when something apocalyptic or horrid occurs (death, war, failure, etc.) the crying only lasts for 1-2 minutes. It would be cool to even see men cry in everyday settings, like at the office, and do it for longer. And, I would also like to see men cry when they are happy as well. I'm sure that happens, but I don't see it often.
Also, why do I see men cry and get mocked or shut down for it? Just because they're crying, doesn't mean that they're weak or useless. Men don't have to fear the risk of debilitating their strengths just because they want to shed some tears. Like, what kind of logic is that? Why can't they feel emotion like other humans can?
Lastly, I think it would be refreshing to see men cry with other men. In rare instances, I've seen this happen on-screen, and I quite like it. It'll take a lot to get used to at first, but I think the social change is worth it.
Gradually, with the help of social media and mental health awareness, Western culture is gradually becoming more aware that it's better to express vulnerability than to suppress it. But man, do we have a long way to go.
True, crying doesn't solve problems per se. True, crying can be bad when it happens persistently for no reason. But when there's a reason to cry, it helps someone clear their head enough so that they can solve said problems. There is research from Harvard University that proves this lol.
In essence, men are human beings, and human beings need to feel a wide range of emotions in a chaotic, uncertain life such as this one. There might be tears for a good half an hour, but, tears help people move on, not ruin their lives. On the flip side, suppressing emotions and not reflecting on them makes someone fall apart eventually.
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While listening to this song:
You could look at.....a video by (link: Pop Culture Detective) which was the first video to open my mind up to the pervasiveness of toxic masculinity in Western media. I used it as inspiration for this post.
You could be with.....bros who you think are going through a hard time.
You could do something.....that reveals vulnerability. Talk about your feelings, because you or them might just need it. If you can't offer advice for something difficult, that's okay. In fact, showing up there to listen to them is enough. Show that you're there for them, show them that you're a friend you can count on.
You could eat or drink.....for some reason, I think warm Mac n' Cheese is great sadboy food.
You could remember that.....it takes balls to cry in front of others and not feel sorry for it cause you know many others won't know how to react to you. To be able to be vulnerable is a strength, not a weakness.
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