☽ For Now

[image source: LOVE ANTENNA single]

A story ~ For Now

I know, she goes through her own shit.

I know, she has her own past.

I know, she isn't perfect.

But...

She's perfect enough for me to ask

Can I be her,

Please?


Before this, 

I stared at myself in the mirror for an hour.

Part of me wanted to punch the glass

Until my knuckles bled;

I was so disgusted with myself.


I smile at you now

Though I don't have the courage to admit it—

That no, it wasn't jealousy before.

It wasn’t.

Neither her or I,

Had our foot in the door.

I swear, I would’ve seen it.


And even if I had one now,

It'd be indefinitely pointless to limp for you

Again.


You stay with me because of our past together;

You walk to her because of your future,

Together.


The title, the status, the cliches--

They aren't the point.

Even if you and I stapled our limbs as one—

Even if both of us were tied to the same tree,

You'd find some way to undo what we made,

And fall right into her arms.


How come I still reminisce that maybe,

You fondle about what I'm doing,

As I idle away about you?

Under every hoodie that brushes past me,

My heart believes it can see you.


"Just friends?"

That's all this is?


A marble palace with 50 empty rooms;

To fit a dozen more, your heart contains enough.

The difference though is,

She sleeps for free in the master suite,

While I pay rent to lay on the living room couch.


A sigh escapes me,


It isn't worth fighting for space anymore.


Perhaps, it's time we both stop, for now.


{"hey can we talk...?"}


While listening to this song:

You could look at.....someone you want to get closer to, but you know it's pointless. It could be a stranger, friend, anybody.

You could be with.....you and them. 

You could do something.....wonder about what this person's life is like right now.  What is that one someone else or something else that is keeping you from getting closer with them?

You could eat or drink.....kiwi is an interesting fruit.

You could remember that.....if they aren't a reason to stay, if they keep on drifting away--then you should leave. They may deserve someone who will wait for them like you might, but you deserve someone who will wait for you.






[Secret Story of a Song]

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