☽ Flower (In Full Bloom)
A story ~ Flower (In Full Bloom)
The job that I have now is kind of hard to explain to people who don't already have a background similar to it.
I take on many different roles and I have to switch between them constantly when I'm at work. That requires juggling a diverse amount of skills, which honestly, I'm still not completely sure what all of those are yet. I'm still getting used to the fact that I even have a job after graduating university. Despite the fact that there is still a lot to learn, I like this job a lot and I see that it really changes people's lives.
I admit, when I first went into this line of work, I expected a much more peaceful environment that was similar to my previous work. But nothing could have prepared me for what I would experience on this job. Actually, I'm pretty sure the interview was less about seeing if I was qualified for the job and more about seeing if I wanted it.
Every day there are lows as much as there are highs. It is very rare that I have a week that doesn't have a disappointing day. The system that I am working within isn't perfect and it has lots of flaws, with which I must try to work around. I am aware that I have a responsibility to the people that I help, but even I make mistakes, and I have shortcomings, and those can deter people's ability to get the help they really need.
And when I leave work, I walk around every day knowing that more people could've been helped by me, but they just weren't there at the right place, or at the right time, and that always weighs down on me.
My co-worker wisely put it this way:
"In this job, you just have to get used to the disappointment. There are always going to be more needs than resources to meet them. But even more so, that means that we should celebrate successes because that means the client overcame all the obstacles to get to where they are."
I got hired not to be a martyr or to get credit for helping people. I'm not there to be an obedient servant without boundaries or to hide the truth from people so that they don't have to feel more pain. I'm there to give people choices that they can choose to take or not, and I'm there to tell them the consequences of such choices. I'm there to help when no one else wants to help them, but only if I am able to. I work in an organization that strives to help others, but I am not a superhero. I put myself at risk to help others, but it is not my job to die for them. I have boundaries and in order to protect myself, my co-workers and my family, I should enforce them when it's necessary.
In jobs like mine, the responsibility is not just on me, but it is on the other members of the community as well. As much as I can offer my support, it is the choice of the community members I help to take it. There are indeed cases where people did not have the choice to be put in a hazardous situation (ex: when they get physically injured) and I do my best to help them there, but when they do have a choice, it is on them to see whether they want help or not.
Whatever choices I make, I will truthfully tell the consequences of my choices.
Whatever choices other community members make, I will truthfully tell the consequences of their choices.
Whatever choices my co-workers make, I will truthfully make sure they know they consequences of their choices.
And I'm sure when I make choices too, they will tell those consequences to me.
Because, even if the system is not perfect, even if I cannot find a loophole around my shortcomings or the system's, everyone deserves the truth. Everyone deserves to be given a choice (although limited) and the consequences of taking or not taking that choice.
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While listening to this song:
You could look at..…this time lapse of a carolina reaper plant growing.
You could be with.....people that you work with, whether at school, home or whatever.
You could do something.....reflect on the difficulties and successes of your job/schoolwork. Despite all of the difficulties, why do you stay there? What is the end goal for you? Give yourself a pat on the back for sticking it out regardless.
You could eat or drink.....I like Tim Hortons' iced cappuccinos because they give me a boost and they're not as bitter as coffee.
You could remember that.....graduation (from university) is a time that everyone says is supposed to be great, but really, a lot of shit goes on during that time. University or college just hypes it up to be really exciting, which it is, but of course they're not going to tell you the shitty stuff because they want you to graduate lmao. But yeah, when I got my first job after graduating I fell into a bit of a depression. Even if I was there, I didn't know much and I didn't have many people I could confide in. I often wondered why I even got the job. But now that I'm there, I've learned that I want to stay there. It's going to be quite a ride but I'll just keep trying to get better because I know that improving is going to get me somewhere.
Artists: Luna Li, Dreamer Isioma
[Secret Story of a Song]
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